“Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at the moment….I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitude.”
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
So much in life is easier said than done.
When I first heard this piece on acceptance read aloud in a meeting, I felt defensive to my core. “Whaaaat? Accept who I am, who you are, be at the mercy of this-is-just-how-it-is?? Er, I don’t think so….” Yet, over the decades since, the notion of acceptance has become a guiding principle. And is it easier said than done? You bet.
For me, acceptance has a mood of acknowledgement rather than acquiescence. It’s not about settling, giving up, backing down or staying stuck, there’s a dynamic quality fuelled by the Serenity Prayer, another pillar of recovery. “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
As I write this we are just on the other side of the holiday season and no-one I know has had the idyllic family gathering portrayed in those persuasive TV ads bombarding us since Halloween. Far from it. It’s a time of tremendous pressure on almost every front: hugely unrealistic expectations, financial and time resources stretched to the limit, duty to give and duty to visit implied, original family dynamics re-ignited in all their glory… Amidst it all, can we find the opportunity to pause, assess, acknowledge, accept and, perhaps most importantly, take action?
If this is one of those times when you need support taking those all important next action steps (or even determining what they would be), do reach out (I’m currently almost full and will soon have a waiting list).