Relationship matters

I enjoy spending time relaxing at the spa, getting a massage, taking a sauna….relaxing and rewarding myself. When there are several to choose from, how am I influenced? Assuming equal quality and ambience, I am drawn to the spa where I matter. The one where I am...
Word of the Year

Word of the Year

I’ve never liked New Year’s Resolutions. Starting out the year with an almost guaranteed disappointment doesn’t make much sense to me. So when a friend told me about Word of the Year, the idea really resonated. I’ve enjoyed planning one each year of the decade now...
How long does change take?

How long does change take?

If this title caught your eye, I’m guessing you’d like me to answer with a reassuring “oh, six sessions should do it.” But I’m not going to lie or beat about the bush. Change takes way way longer than any of us really want to admit. Supposing you cut the thumb of your...

Virtual Interviews

My client DG was recently interviewed for an international role he really wanted. “It was a disaster!” he reported. “We had to use Skype and I’m a complete luddite when it comes to these things.” With interviews and business being...

The Oxygen Mask

“When the oxygen masks fall from the overhead compartment, place yours over your nose and mouth [demonstrates], then decide which of your family members you wish to assist with theirs, if any.” So began the flight atttendant on the last budget flight I...

Understanding teenagers

Ever had a time when it seemed your teenager had turned into someone you no longer recognised? Worse still, actually resembled an alien from another planet? You are not crazy and, the good news is, neither is your teenager. Neuroanatomist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, famous...

Deep Listening

“Oh, the comfort — the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person — having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift...

A Guide to Focusing

A Guide to Focusing Have you ever wondered why some clients benefit from psychotherapy, and others not? It’s such a great question, underpinning all the other questions I try to answer. Fortunately, there’s a robust body of research which can point us...

How to choose a therapist

Choosing the right therapist for you is a significant step on the journey toward healing, recovery or personal growth. I say this from experience, personal experience. I’ve been fortunate to work with a handful of skilled clinicians over the years who have in...

The company you keep

“You must constantly ask yourself these questions: Who am I around? What are they doing to me? What have they got me reading? What have they got me saying? Where do they have me going? What do they have me thinking? And most important, what do they have me...