Deep Listening

“Oh, the comfort — the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person — having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift...

A Guide to Focusing

A Guide to Focusing Have you ever wondered why some clients benefit from psychotherapy, and others not? It’s such a great question, underpinning all the other questions I try to answer. Fortunately, there’s a robust body of research which can point us...

How to choose a therapist

Choosing the right therapist for you is a significant step on the journey toward healing, recovery or personal growth. I say this from experience, personal experience. I’ve been fortunate to work with a handful of skilled clinicians over the years who...

The company you keep

“You must constantly ask yourself these questions: Who am I around? What are they doing to me? What have they got me reading? What have they got me saying? Where do they have me going? What do they have me thinking? And most important, what do they have me...

Too Sensitive?

Much of my early life resounded to refrains of “oh, you’re just too sensitive” or “why can’t you just get over it?” or “when are you going to grow a thicker skin?” For many years I didn’t have the vocabulary to...

The imperfection of creativity

As a creative working with other creatives, I really appreciate Ira Glass’s perspective on how it feels to inhabit such shoes. In fact, I laughed out aloud the first time I saw this innovative presentation of the creative process. Hope you enjoy it as...

Sharing a secret

I’ve been watching Patrick Melrose. Loosely based on his own life, the author Edward St. Aubym tells a gasp-worthy story of privileged dysfunctional families, child abuse, alcoholism and drug addiction, with threads of redemption surfacing occasionally. I’m...

Infidelity

I have great admiration for Esther Perel. A relationship therapist who doesn’t pull punches, she simply tells it like it is with confidence and poise. Her latest TED talk may catch the eye of the unfaithful but, as she says, it’s for anyone who has ever...

Adversity Advantage

“An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward.When life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means it’s going to launch you into something great.So just focus, and keep aiming.” Someone facing life-changing adversity recently shared this with me....

Things to keep to yourself

I feel so grateful that I came of age pre-social media. (Oh, the embarrassing things that could be haunting me now). Having a choice about what to share and keep private is such a gift, especially in a profession like mine where boundaries play such an important role....