“Under pressure, we don’t rise to the level of our expectations, we fall to the level of our practices.”*
I’d never really thought about how I reacted under pressure until my training at Strozzi Institute. Years of therapy had given me an intellectual understanding of why I acquiesced so readily, but how to act differently was a total mystery. Fortunately, retraining the body-brain is possible with…as you know if you’re a regular reader here … practice, practice, practice. Research suggests it takes 300 repetitions of a practice to get it in to muscle memory, 3,000 for embodiment, 10,000 for mastery.
Here’s what happens: under pressure, when the limbic system of the brain goes offline in favour of bringing forth the natural survival strategy of fight / flight / freeze/ fold, those same embedded practices take over. We promise ourselves we’ll speak up next time, rest more, be more open with a partner. Then when the moment to shine arrives, the body does what it has always done. Expectations live in the head, original practices live in the body.
A recent example of this is the moment Robert Aramayo learned he’d won the 2025 BAFTA for Best Actor, portraying John Davidson (who was diagnosed with Tourette’s syndrome at an early age) in the movie I Swear. He gasped, fell back in his chair and covered his mouth with one hand. He seemed genuinely shocked. As he walked to the podium that automatic childlike gesture of hand-over-mouth continued. I thought to myself – he’s practiced being an actor, and despite all that entails, he hasn’t practiced receiving a big award.
Many of the people I work with are exquisitely practised in ways they prefer to disregard and certainly would never list on a resume: keeping the focus on others, tightening around their own needs, smiling instead of saying “no.” None of this is evidence of failure, it’s evidence of the learned behaviour that kept them safe, loved, or successful.
I’ll often ask a client: “What are you practising, right now, without meaning to?” It’s a disarming question pointing to something that is usually under conscious awareness. They might notice they’re practicing pleasing me; feeling resistant and pushing me away; staying vague; shrinking from the spotlight; feeling squirmy inside. Simply seeing that in themselves and acknowledging their response out aloud is already a different practice. From there I suggest moving gradually toward acknowledge-with-self compassion. Alongside we would co-create an alternative desired response
Attributed variously to Archilochus, Bruce Lee and a Navy SEAL. *
and train that in to the body, ready for the time when it could be brought forth as automatically as the original reaction. It’s a process. I wish I could say it was fast, but the truth is the opposite, it takes all those repetitions which do take time. Worth it though!
[I have a vacancy in my private practice at the moment so do reach out to see if that’s still the case]