Over the decades I’ve facilitated many types of endings in my coach-therapy practice. Some have gone well and some less so, with others somewhere between the two.
In all honesty, I have to admit that completions are not my strong-suit. Yes, I can facilitate a “good enough” ending, and no, I don’t particularly enjoy them. When I have a profound bond with a client, it is hard to see them walk away even though that means they’re launching in to new territory with the embodied skills they need for their next adventure. I am buoyed and inspired by the connection with my clients – partnering with their openness and motivation to keep facing in to the challenge of change; their willingness to engage in heart-searching processes, some even willing to plumb the depths of intense soul-searching to further their self-exploration.
Increasingly, I’m noticing the correlation between how we conclude in life and how we complete with a practitioner. I observe the passengers on the train putting on their coats, gathering their bags, standing by the exit doors a full five minutes before arrival at the station and wonder if they’re the type of clients who leave a session early, either physically or mentally. They’re ready for the next thing, moving right along, prematurely some may say. Then there are those who take their time, only preparing to leave when the train stops, slowly packing up their possessions in a relaxed mood (not so many of those it has to be said). Are they the clients who dally, wanting to engage in small talk, reluctant to leave, wanting to squeeze every last minute of connection?
I was recently asked by a colleague about my latest writing project and when I said “exploring endings in coaching and therapy” their curiosity was piqued. We had a rich exchange, concluding with a promise to buy my book for their counselling staff, which felt really encouraging…something to reflect on when writing days get bogged down in “who on earth will ever read this??”
So, if you have any ending experiences you’d like to share, do submit a comment below. I can’t promise to answer everyone but I would be grateful for your input.