It’s very easy to say “take a step back,” “see the bigger picture,” “make more space,” “just detach” and, in my experience, much harder to do in practice. As I was working with someone today, I was taken by surprise when a fresh way to do this presented itself, so I offer in case useful to you as well.
When I settle in to myself, bringing attention to sensation and the substance of my body, how I’m sitting in the chair or standing feeling my feet, there comes the possibility of making more space for all that stuff that clogs my mind, weighing me down, impeding flow. Those critical voices badgering me with what they think is helpful content (“Though the voices around you kept offering their bad advice” comes to mind from Mary Oliver’s poem “The Journey.” Mine aren’t “around” they seem very insistent and internal). If I can make more room for all of that, then (a) I can breathe more easily, (b) be replenished and (c) there’s a sense of the bigger picture. There really is more than the next deadline, the hundredth email, the appointment I must make…..
What came freshly to me this morning was an image of lily pads on a pond. Effortlessly floating, supported by the water and drinking in the sun’s warming rays. They have nothing to do than be exactly who/what they are. If I can offer a lily pad to the various parts in me clamouring for attention, then I can claim the space in-between. For me, that’s what opens up creativity, possibility, opportunity – all the things which bring meaning and richness to my life. Those all important parts are receiving acknowledgement, have a place to land, maybe rest for a moment before the next round of advice. Yup, they may not enjoy sitting there for very long, but I can keep inviting them gently to be just the way they are…. similar to the way we respectfully guide awareness and attention back to the rhythm of the breath in a mindfulness or meditation practice.
I think you’ll find that making more space for everything will assist your sense of wellbeing, productivity, presence for self and others. Wishing you a positive experience!
If this provokes you to explore more about the way I work as a therapeutic-coach, please get in touch. I’m working on zoom through lockdown with satisfying results.